♥ Mawar Hitam

Do u think Im kidding?
No! Im not!

If u feel confused, then u don’t have to think about it.

Aku sama sekali tidak ingin menarikmu ke sebuah kajian filosofis mengenai arti sebuah nama. Atau, mungkin saja, aku tidak ingin banyak berharap, atas namaku.

Ya, siapa juga yang ingin panjang angan-angan?

Huh.

Bayangkan saja, aku sedang tersenyum picik sekarang. Bahkan aku tertawa keras.
Bukan hahaha, tapi hihihi, kalau kau takut cerita horor, nah! aku memekik persis seperti yang kau bayangkan.

No offens! aku tidak sedang ingin mengolok siapa pun.

Termasuk, kau!

Lagi, tersenyum picik.
Paham kan, senyum picik itu bagaimana?
Satu bibir di tarik ke pinggir, agar lebih ganas, tarik ke pinggir kiri.
Sebelumnya, bubuhi bibirmu yang tipis atau penuh itu dengan lipstik merah darah.

Kemudian terkikiklah. Nah! u got my style, fellas!

Kalau belum puas, pandangi lagi cerminmu, dan latihlah terkikik berjam-jam, hingga penghuni rumah kabur semua.

***

Apa kau pernah tahu mawar hitam?
Apa ia sejenis mawar yang busuk atau apa?
Apakah ia kumuh dan terjerembab di lumpur,
jauh dari familiy mawar kuning, merah, putih, dan lainnya?

Atau ia mawar yang tidak diakui?
Yang merupakan simbol kehinaan, gelap, menjijikan?
Ugh! I don’t want to under-esteemate myself though!

Hihi…

Do you know this song?

“I tried to be perfect, But nothing was worth it, I don’t believe it makes me real.
I thought it’d be easy, But no one believes me, …I meant all the things I said.
If you believe it’s in my soul I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show, That I’m trying to let you know,
That I’m better off on my own
That I’m better off on my own”

-Sum 41: Pieces-

Is it true that Im better of on my own? I won’t admit it.
But that song is just so me.

Laugh Out Loud, people!

***

Seriously, I never ever being curious about that ‘Black Rose’.

Whatever is that, its my name.
And whats wrong with it?
That’s what I thought.

But others say different things.

About me.
About my name.
About us.

Im a girl. Sure I am!
U cud just find it out from the way I wrote this!

Hihihi.

And my name is Black Rose, in English.
Mawar Hitam in Bahasa.

Do u think when I was a little girl, I will ask, a question like this
“Mommy, why my name is Black Rose? Isnt it too horrible for such a child?”.
The answer is: No, I don’t!

Im pretty much strong enough to get some other kids mocked at me.

Becoz of my name.
Like, who cares?

Clue:
“I’m strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I’ve never been perfect
But neither have you
-Linkin Park: Leave Out All The Rest-

Coz, there is nothing I can do about it.
Worse, its not my parent who gave me that name.
Clear?

Now let’s smile a little better.

Look, after years, I don’t give any damn to those Sweet Black Rose name.
Yeah, until my friend asked me, this…

“Do u know where can I find a Balck Rose?”.

And I said, “Why?”.

“Coz,some people is looking for it now, mostly people who join a Cosplay”, she replied.

“Hm”, Im thinking.

Well, I dunno where is that, but it such a good news to know that there is a benefit of a Black Rose. In fact, some people looking for Mawar Hitam now days, mostly for those who joining a Cosplay.

Useful flower, don’t let urself down!

Have u got my style? Hihihi.

 

♥ Mawar Hitam

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